yes mr. John Mayer hello man how are you
I've been here the whole time I don't
want people to think that I was like mr.
late I've been here the whole time it
was a beautiful intro thank you
beautiful song brought back a lot of
memories of touring yes right yeah good
to see you man thank you for that intro
that was amazing a little bit of the
light
no I've decided that this is my one
chance to see what could happen if I
don't shave it's the only time that
there would be this built-in inference
that like oh he's not shaving because
he's doing this desert island thing so
I'm just very curious about what my face
can do with hair and I'm seeing where
where it's going but I I mentioned the
other night our current mood that I
think when I when I when I first kind of
you know went underground as we all have
I decided that I wanted to pause life
there right and and do something that
looked different every time I looked in
the mirror with the idea that when this
is over I just shave and maybe mentally
I just go back like the two places
together and also like now I'm just into
watching what happens with it and I'm
learning things about quote/unquote
beard right um do you use scissors on
your beard oh god no I'm not that I'm
not that savvy like I've used them with
my hair or my beard I have clippers and
I'm like alright whatever the shape of
my head or my god that's what it'll be
well I'm very patchy I'm gonna have a
robust hairline I'm not gonna complain
about anything else on my face but it's
very patchy and here's what's
interesting the hair here is very coyly
and the hair here just comes straight up
right and so that's why I look at Mir
and I go oh I have to cut that part and
then this part where I want it to come
down is very coyly well do you don't
think it's like you let this part go
that eventually it will just give up
you're off and there is no eventually
with this hair this this facial hair I
was given a lot of good things I'm never
gonna be able to grow a beard now where
that's interesting is that I have to
really stay on my diet and my fitness
because I can never just grow
a jawline I'm always gonna be exposed
here what is what is the most
self-conscious part of your face right
here right yeah mine too mine too right
here but then maybe everybody is and
therefore nobody has to be yeah but I
mean it's just like the great angles on
instagrams like we all look like
whatever but you still try to get the
best angle possible just because that's
what everybody does what's your best
angle into a camera right now I'm gonna
assume you're doing it but if you're not
what is it you know I was telling
somebody this yesterday you know you see
some people in person that you've seen
online and you're like oh my god they
must always pick the great angles cuz
they don't really look that great on the
opposite my angles on Instagram are
awful but when you see me a person
you're like oh hey much better looking
than I thought I think you're incredibly
look at the crowd incredible looking in
real life I've never thought that your
angles a mystery I mean we are the
experts in our face right um I will say
that I have a beautiful two to three
degrees of angle of view I mean you
gotta get in the right the two to three
degrees
would you like to see it yes like even
this is not great but you start going to
this okay good now that's a better side
but I want to show you as soon as you go
here work it straight to hell what is it
I mean this thing I'm telling you I
would get surgery if I knew that it
could go away and I don't want any of
the rest of my face you can keep
wrinkles great whatever may go away I
would do commercials for it I wouldn't
throw I believe so there is something
it's called kybella it's uh it's
injections yeah have you ever done
injections have you ever had anything
done to your face cosmetically no me
neither
hey do you know anybody who's done
kybella I know people I think probably
have cuz I was like I'm concerned about
this and they're like kybella if you're
fast on the draw with the name of an
injection you probably be promised the
injection yeah
is that tea coffee coffee which I have
to be careful of because coffee during
an interview can make your mouth run a
little faster than your brain all right
let me ask you a question
you mentioned something about you said
you were drinking yesterday before one
of your lives yeah now I cut that out
but I do have a question for someone I
used to drink with how has this crisis
changed how drinking feel what's
different about drinking now what would
I feel different if I were drinking
during this okay so a couple things I
talked to a friend of mine yesterday and
she said she's dealing with her kids at
home she's you know kids are home from
school and she's like in the middle of
the day I went out on the patio and I
chug the beer
she's like I'm 42 years old I haven't
never dug the beer in my life sick I
just had to chug a beer so there's
something about drinking where I feel
like I'm doing something kind of bad
because I'm dreamy I think exactly what
I just pulled out of what you said yes
that there's a little bit of Anarchy in
there a little bit of cathartic anarchy
right yeah there's also something about
it just sort of expands the number of
colors inside your home right I gotta
make myself feel different inside right
right I guess the analogy is being a
sailor at sea for months at a time like
that's why they just just totally
stopped the ship full full of rum or
booze or whatever a hundred percent yeah
so are you finding well I guess you've
not you haven't had a drink for two
years three years three years over three
years yeah Wow yeah which is fine which
is fine and I always tell myself now and
it wasn't an AAA thing um I managed to
find a way to have it make sense on my
own but I always tell myself now like if
you think about doing it again
you've just tallied up the pros and cons
wrong do it again right right now it's
just for me I mean you could see on the
chart where when I stopped my
productivity just went through the roof
I can do anything at any time of day you
know when you stop drinking you'll be on
a treadmill at like 1:00 in the morning
being like this is amazing yeah and I
mean you've remained remarkably fun a
lot of people quit drinking and I don't
know it's not fun anymore you have to be
very careful when you excise that little
tumor that you don't take out other
tissue
that's highly important to your
functionality you know I don't hook up
anymore really I realized that alcohol
was the air bridge as they say now
between two strangers yes yeah I said
when I quit I quit drinking I was sober
for like three and a half years and I
did the whole a a thing which was
incredibly helpful in a lot of respects
because I never I've never really dealt
with emotions I didn't like to talk
about emotions I didn't really think
that that was a thing and that's kind of
like all they do is talk about emotion
but I realized like I wasn't an
alcoholic I was just an asshole
incredibly selfish and I just use right
right right to be able to say oh that
wasn't me I was drunk yeah wanted to do
anyway yeah I think I think everybody I
don't know how exciting this
conversation is so I'm sorry if I sent
it in the wrong direction but I think
there's a lot of people who just need to
know that it is for many many many many
people a rite of passage to discover it
yeah use it overuse it and put it away
yes it's like I don't even I don't even
think we have dug the trench correctly
to explain that process I all we have is
I don't drink I do drink or I'm now
sober because I'm a recovering alcoholic
but I think there are some shades in
Battambang let go I didn't for a long
time I did it helped me it was awesome
and then it stopped being awesome I
didn't want to do it anymore yeah I mean
for me like going going to AAA I
realized it was almost like me going and
taking my like if I had a relative that
was that had like cancer medication and
I just kept like taking their cancer
medication it's like oh this is this
works but this is not I don't this is a
mom they need it anymore I graduate I
almost feel like I graduated from that
University now I was also an asshole in
my life too and that was a different
recovery process but they don't have an
a a for assholes man they totally should
I mean it is a little I keep getting
cancelled it's sort of like you know the
problem with getting cancelled
is that nobody has written the kind of I
don't know the protocol for being
uncounseled like there's no recovery
from camp like but I think if you're
cancelled you that might be asshole
rehab I don't know yeah forced asshole
rehab for yeah you're getting thrown
into rehab the problem is that just I
don't know that anybody's written the
curriculum for getting out of the
spanking machine sure how's it going for
you so far I said yesterday now that I
realize all I'm doing is rationing
patience and I've just yes yeah some
people aren't working so they're like
they're watching their bank account like
okay I can only do this I'm kind of
doing that with my patients like alright
I got so much over here I got a way to
live regenerate you know what I say
don't don't rattle the bars right you
are in a confined space yes hang out on
the other side of that confined space
don't walk up to the bars and do this
right right right don't rattle the bars
they will not move and you'll just get
frustrated frustrated yeah I want to be
the guy in the sort of prison cell who's
off in the corner going shake or not
good now I'm just thinking about being
inside I always mean to text you or call
you and tell you thank you for this
thing you turn me on to that little
nebula projector thing oh it is so much
fun so we have this room in the house it
was like it's it's between our main
Sloane's room in the kids room and it's
just like too big to be a closet but too
small it's just a weird room but we were
like well what if we just took all this
up off the ball and we use that little
projector in there we put two bean bags
in there and now it's like the bean bag
movie room so great that's been great
but so this weekend we're like you know
what it's a spring break and the kids
will not remember this year as like we
have nothing fun playing we were
supposed to go to San Francisco and see
a Giants game so it's like we got to
come up with something at least one
night where we do something great so
tomorrow night we're going to
can't they're gonna move the sofa and
everything out of the way in our living
room we have a fireplace in the living
room we're gonna light a fire I have I
bought this screen on Amazon is like 25
bucks and if we're just gonna hang it in
the middle of the room lay there watch
movies do s'mores in a sleeping bag but
it's like the the nebula yeah which
makes this whole thing possible
it's the nebula fellas I've ever spent
it's great it's it's it's a soda can
sighs it's a little bigger than a soda
can it's a wireless projector of any
media you want to throw at it and I am
11 I'll always be in some ways an 11
year old boy and anything that lights up
or projects in a room he's like a would
totally change the room so I'm like
super freaking out on Philips hue those
lights now I mean you should see I mean
I have them on order for all different
places it's hard to kind of get them all
on spot right now and I've announced a
home depot with the mask on yeah trying
to pick up these lights and bridging
them all together and it's just so that
I talked about rationing your patients
it's just so that when the Sun Goes Down
you can change your environment and be a
little bit like a college freshman in
their dorm room I'm going for like
college freshmen freshman dorm room
lighting to change just to make the most
of what you have yes yeah
but what I was doing before would be
with the projector and I have like two
of them I bought a second yeah and I was
eating edibles marijuana edibles and I
would don't Alice about the star
projector for the ceiling oh so I had
the star projector for the ceiling yeah
and then you go to youtube and there's
like relaxing eight hour videos of like
mountains and water and it looks
seamless yeah yeah and then you can
throw another thing over here and oh
there was one with the shore washing up
also created this kind of David Hockney
esque
collage it's just just amazing amazing I
wish I wish we thought to get the to get
the projector for the ceiling maybe well
maybe we'll camp again next week
the projection for the Iowa if I were in
LA I would ship it to you the the the
projector and the ceiling is great just
put a little disc in there and it's like
the Milky Way and it's very photo real I
wouldn't amazing you know a little toys
are okay the perfect toy is exciting to
order yep it's exciting to figure out
how to configure yeah it takes long
enough to configure that it could that
it would take the night
I don't like toys that are easily easy
to set up wouldn't you agree
yeah I mean it depends if people are
looking at me I don't understand these
politics at all got it got it I want
everything I open to take one night to
get it to work because then in days like
these I get as much out of the
experience and so for me like using have
you ever used the Philips hue bridge the
rooms the linking this one kind of light
strip by this company called go V you
know relatively inexpensive but it does
the thing with them with sound where it
will pulse with the sound so sometimes
I'm when I'm cleaning out the studio I
got the light pulsing it's all you can
do you can't go anywhere
so you decorate your mind by decorating
the room you're a hundred percent yeah
wait did your curtains just open no no
oh I was I must have been doing this
yeah no it's good it's actually like
sixty degrees out now I'm out in the
Yellowstone area of Montana keep it that
broad I came out here a month ago I
always kind of had in the back of my
head that this would be a go-to spot I
didn't think it would be because of a
pandemic I thought it would be something
a little more on the radar right of you
know an environmental thing and we just
shipped out here more than a month ago
and you know I'm very careful not to you
know the road is littered with the
bodies of those who have shown where
they live behind them
yes so and I don't even live honestly I
don't live in on a very large plot of
land but I can see a lot of land yeah
and I think if someone saw a picture of
that they wouldn't be able to delineate
between where I'm standing damn well
area was not yours
and what and what's not mine but can
still be see yeah yeah this is all
anybody gets this light is done from
snow-capped mountains but you're not
ever gonna see that I mean you've got
we're talking about avoiding being tone
deaf yeah well first of all I'm actually
going to defend every single person who
has been criticized for being tone deaf
because nobody quite understands the
tone now there's a couple people who are
out there like yeah a couple people are
beyond the pale but for people who if
nobody can agree what the tone is then
you can't quite incriminates somebody
for being death to that tongue sure I am
musically tone-deaf right now I don't
know what to play are you writing can
you can you access your mind with me of
music right now
well I it's just on the other side I
feel the breakthrough about to have me
meter uh
I could I can't listen to music with
lyrics yeah because I think in the back
of my mind I know they don't know what's
happening right now
sure so it's like you don't know my
phone is right I like it hello hi Kim
yes I'm here but the mailbox is across
the street can you drive it in oh okay
I'll open the gate right now oh that
would be lovely
if you get I'm here just call in and
I'll let you in thanks thanks very much
thanks can see I've actually I'm already
scaled the gate I'm on the other side
but your dogs barking I just Kim is my
postal delivery person yes who is making
sure that I was here and I said I am
here come on in and she said well I
don't have the mail now I just want to
make sure yeah I'll bring it tomorrow I
said great that's good enough right Tim
looking out all right we were talking
about tone Oh music breaking through and
I was saying that news lyrics I just
know that the person singing doesn't
know what's happening right now and so
the words feel like a previous software
version of your life that makes it and I
know that there's gonna be a way to
conjoin them but for right now I go like
yeah you don't know what's going on and
also there's no music that touches on
this right and you know I think the
imagine video is just it it's there's no
song there's no song any song wouldn't
have made sense no it doesn't there's no
we are living in times without any
context we should we should I wish there
were songs that we could look up that
were more popular or written during the
great play just ring-around-the-rosy
that's all that's your only Jam I bring
around what I hear ring-around-the-rosie
i just light up I go that now somebody
relates to myself they know how I feel
now they know how I am listening to a
ton of jazz yep because number one jazz
was always mystical and kind of
otherworldly kind of kind of an
alternate universe right like and it's
from so long ago so it's very long time
ago in a galaxy far far away when you
listen to jazz when I was so like Bill
Evans just like all I really listened to
access is something in me that I relate
to because there's nothing inherent in
that music that makes me go somebody
tell this guy would happen in 2020 it
doesn't and there's also enough that
gets touched on by jazz in terms of what
happens emotionally in the 40s and the
50s that that that you can kind of get
some equilibrium between listening to
jazz music and what's going on but we
just have to wait and I also feel like I
am not sure that anybody after this is
going to want to hear this year
encapsulate
the song I don't know how you put it
into I don't know how you put it into
words or this is an emotion that you
want to like if you write a breakup song
there people are breaking up all the
time your heart gets broken all the time
yes this I'll keep this in my I'll keep
this in my spice rack when I don't and
there's ecstasy in all that pain there's
ecstasy in that sure you're right we
don't know what we're gonna need this
and I think what I see this as is kind
of like a really slow low-grade bank
hostage standoff yeah we're we're all
kind of sitting on the floor of the bank
and right now the robber the the bad guy
has dragged the bank manager into the
vault and we're just sitting on the
floor yeah what's that
yeah yeah and when we get out of the
bank I'm not sure anybody's gonna be
like hey I wrote a song about that time
we were all held hostage exactly exactly
where's the joy in that now there might
be joy in in rejoicing and writing but I
don't I just don't think it's a gold
rush to write the song of this I think
this is an era of distraction worthy
distraction and then just being there
for each other and like you said
rationing your patience really slowing
down your brain and not looking at any
kind of a date as a finish line and just
just float just float and you'll be okay
yeah I was saying yesterday um just the
idea of you know this actually happens
to me more when I'm on the road where
you got a pee and you're like uh-huh got
a pee and you you get up to your room
and you put the key in and then he
doesn't work yes I felt like I was doing
that with the patients it's like wait a
minute you told me it was gonna be two
weeks I only I used up on my patients
because I thought that's all I needed
and now I'm gonna pee my patients pants
right that's right so just just knowing
I gotta keep a little bit a little
reserve of patience and grace for folks
and you can grow more as you go yeah the
weather's gonna get better I think
that's that's a double-edged sword too
whether getting better yeah but I
noticed throughout all this when the
weather was really nasty I felt worse I
sort of sort of augmented this situation
in a more negative way
I also itemized it for the first time
yesterday I went what would make me feel
like my life was back to normal
oh you should do it too I went it's like
if I can go to the studio and if I can
go to two restaurants that are open I'll
feel like life is normal for me what
what what do you think - you would make
you feel like okay the rest of it can
take its time if I have the option to
hug anybody I want oh man
way to undercut mine mine was like I
could help my career out by writing more
songs just my impulse is just I'm just
hardwired if I see somebody I know it's
like let's hug I was I was actually
teaching Hendrix the other day we were
hugging and he was trying to get away
another hey buddy do you realize we're
putting our hearts together and he was
like what it's like my heart is here and
your heart is there and then when we do
this we're touching hearts and he was
like oh I like touching hearts and like
I can't like I can't touch people this
friggin it's weird
it's well are you around people very
often that you can't touch because I'm
alone everybody anyway though every day
at 4:00 we go like our kids school is
probably I don't know half of half a
mile three-quarters of a mile up the
road and so we go and there's like this
little area in the front of the school
where the kids kind of ride their bikes
in circles and don't touch each other
but you see parents who you know you all
share the exact same experience learning
frustrations and they're eight feet away
from you and you just go oh I see but we
know I really want to do is go it's okay
yeah it's a it's it's the auntie of
every every possible way that I'm wired
let me ask you a question if given the
opportunity at not a considerable cost a
nominal fee you will be medically coma
ties mm-hmm and then revived as soon as
this is all over and you will not feel
any passage of time and everybody in
your life will be taken care of we'll be
just fine it'll be just fine or maybe
the whole family there's a family
discount yeah everybody gets put in the
PAS
and it's almost like it's like the space
movies where you have to go to deep
sleep because it takes so long to get to
the next Galaxy
sure would you would you do it
I'm waiting real strong towards hell
yeah
[Laughter]
people are saying sign mate Carlos to
say and sign me up I feel like I've
gotten a lot of lessons out of this time
and I don't think I'm gonna it's like
reading my you know 10th grade algebra
book I I think I got it I don't wait
right right right I got all I need I can
go to sleep now it's probably orders of
magnitude of bad news from this point on
exactly yeah I mean this is going to I
feel like I'm sowing seeds just in terms
of what my process is and trying to
figure out what my what my voice is and
what I'm going to be this has been
incredibly helpful for me and like I
told you about that petal like I was
messing around his petal early today I'm
so inspired I can't wait I feel like I
can I started to sing it through this
thing and I feel like I can make a whole
record which is great I remember having
one of those pedals early on yeah I
think I wrote 1983 on it because I just
bomb go patch under it so I went dome
dipped phone but it was like and it was
totally off yeah well I think
songwriters are looking for ways to
trick their brain to make it sound like
them plus something else while they're
writing sure yeah if you can get out of
sounding like you while you're writing
here you know you're in heaven yeah no
doubt um you will play game oh I'd love
to
so oh you know what it's so weird you're
probably one of my best friends that
I've done this with and everybody else
that I've been on one of these things
I'm always just a few some of our
letting go how much I love them and how
glad I am that they are in my life and
I've neglected to do that it's great to
see you we don't do this nearly enough I
know I love you I know that you're
always just you know just not even arm
lengths away for me emotionally and
spiritually too and and you know what's
you know what's funny about that is
you and I talk frequently but not hyper
frequently we keep in touch a lot i
found that during this shutdown there's
a lot of kind of vicarious feeling of
shutdown through other people being
shutdown so me knowing where you are in
the world gives me an extra feeling of
freedom when i know that you were about
to go on tour right europe like that's
what Instagram was good for Oh David's
here on the radar
Scott is here Oh same Carney is here and
knowing everyone else is grounded gives
me an even deeper sense this feeling of
you know the whole vicarious radar
because we're a part of a community you
know the people we play with the people
we know and we're always aware of who's
out and who's in sure meaning who's
right now on the road who might need a
check-in right you know because I always
said the people at home are Mission
Control for the people on the road and
they switch you know and to know that
everybody is now not going a place would
seem not to make a difference if they're
not in your immediate surroundings but
you can feel it like oh man David can't
tour right you know right and and and so
we are definitely connected that way
we're also monsters with a metaphor hey
is that the raspberry spindrift this is
the grapefruit spindrift do you know
about the spindrift it's good stuff it's
it's like half carbonated yeah it's half
swung huggable Seltzer yeah and then
you're done with it I want I want a
cooler so I want a big crew office
cooler of it like a Gatorade sideline
the big orange thing on the side yeah
yeah watch how many sips I take all it
was
of carbonated liquid that's great - no
there's no burst got the right he
realized there is a million ways to
carbonate liquid yes um oh there was a
game Kiko I just got hit - topo Chico
it's made from the devil how did like
you can open the top one Chico and leave
it open for two years and it's still
carbonated I don't well your the idea
may be a devil is it holds that right
now is in lead for the best reason that
best explanation here comes the
spindrift come I tried it for the first
time about two weeks ago and I found it
to have the same carbonation profile as
a beer yeah which is to say there's the
initial big bubble response and then
it's a really long tail it has never
decay of bubbles and the bubbles get
tinier and prickly err as it goes yeah
and then you just want to take the ride
again with another sip yeah boom big
bubbles medium sized bubbles see here
it's like a bunch of ants just went
loose in your mouth and they were just
like they just like a big explosion as
they're all sprayed into your mouth and
then they just run away and you're like
that was cool do it again yeah yeah and
then I mentioned I was drinking at our
current movie and then I would she go
reached out and they were like can we
send your cooler and some chocolate Rico
and I was like normally I don't respond
to these but yes you can though I might
have I might have been you know I might
have taken advantage of my position a
little bit but who wouldn't for free
topo Chico Hey and it's not even a
matter of it being free matter of it
being in your house 100 if they even
called me and said we'd like to give you
an opportunity to buy more I'd be like
thank you so much for this yes Oh give
me give me that I always check that
born-on date Oh No topo Chico looks very
similar to a Shula chip popsicle in
terms of the font
chupa chip no chip they're very similar
I wonder if they're owned by the same
time same fun same font for sure in the
same font family in the same font family
I'd like to look that up but I won't oh
you know somebody I was supposed to I
said I was gonna do an advice column
somebody asked me a question yesterday
and now I can't remember I think they
asked me what song do I go to listen to
when I'm upset I don't I'm sorry
person that asked that question I don't
have a particular song because I get
upset in lots of different ways I need
lots of different music you get upset in
lots of different ways yeah mmm way too
much as I get older I feel like I'm kind
of you know I had a really good friend
of mine who's supposed to come over for
Thanksgiving dinner right and we do kind
of this orphans thing we invite people
in LA that don't have family and so the
day before I think it was he was like
hey um I'm gonna go do this know what's
the day before it was a day up hey well
what time you guys be eating cuz I'm
gonna go do this other thing and I just
want to know what time I come over so
Sloan knows this person but they're more
my friend than they are her so she kind
of gives me like these are the kind of
friends that you have they've just like
canceled on the bit cuz you know she's
setting everything out she's making sure
everything's around and so I was pissed
I was like what who does that and um I
wasn't gonna say anything I was just
gonna I was just gonna swallow it and
then see that person and have to swallow
it every time I saw him but I was like
if I really care about this person I'm
gonna let them know uh-huh
that that wasn't thing like I'm actually
showing them love by confronting them
and us possibly blowing up and we get to
the other side so I say all that to say
I'm trying to not hold on to things cuz
that's that my go-to is like I'll just
hold on to disks maybe there's something
about me the causes particularly
exchange they happen and I'm like you
know what I'm gonna let people have it
there are there are three possible
scenarios when it comes to upsetting
somebody and there's only three and
there should only be three I know
there's more but there should only be
three and if you live by the three
scenarios and you and you
to suggest or insist that everyone else
in your life do so you will be happy
number one is I never upset you in which
case I don't do anything
number two is I've upset you and you've
gotten over it in which case I don't do
anything yeah
the third one is I've upset you and you
will let me know I've upset you and I
can apologize which case I don't to do
anything in all three scenarios you know
what to do anything yeah so if you live
by that we're okay look did I say
something yesterday during David's lunch
hour that he that he might have been
upset with me well he either didn't
catch it or he did and he got over it or
he did and he'll let me know what upset
him
right so in all three scenarios I need
not worry right right and isn't that
great if everybody signs up to do that
man that would be amazing
Oh God it'd be amazing if it just gets
on it or just gets on that plan check
this out mm-hmm there's a friend of mine
I haven't seen in eight years or so he
used to live in LA was an engineer and
he moved somewhere in the Midwest I get
a call from him he's like hey man I
really want I need to talk to you about
something okay cool he's like um you
know I've been sober for a while and
there was always just one exchange that
we had that is this just really bothered
me I said this thing and it was like the
most racist thing that I could imagine
and it didn't seem to bother you at the
time but it is it is it has been it is
stuck with me and I just wanted to call
and apologize for it and I was like I
don't know you're talking about I it's
what we should do
and look obviously that's for him to
offload that and that's important but
what we should do is go like hey
remember that time I said something
fucked up to you and if you say I really
don't go all right next question like no
recession let's go get lunch but good
that's that the humanum the human heart
can't do that the human like we need to
remind the other person of what we said
what basically wrist
hurting them anew or for the first time
just to be able to say fucked up what I
said yes but you would think if the
person said I have no memory of you ever
upsetting me that they'd go okay then
you're gonna see what get some ice cream
but we can't do that we have to go all
the way through we have to go David I
sigh and then go through it and you go
David that was fucking horrible what I
said to you and you're like okay that
was horrible okay here we are I'm sorry
for having said that yeah yeah yeah well
because I was like what did you say it
was like well I don't want to say it
again so now he has this feeling of like
whoa got that off and now you have to
wonder whether you've let him off what I
said was no it's so it's so complicated
it's so complicated emotions you know
like and basically it's not just
emotions it's interactions right
everybody for the most part unless you
are a searing asshole in which case
people wouldn't fuck with you anyway but
most people are just trying their best
to connect right and are saying things
that are their best guess and how to
make another person have yeah tripping
over yourself most of the mistakes
people make are in attempt to please
another person right and so it's it's I
mean I you you have this people come up
to you and they talk to you in a way
where they're they need a certain amount
of approval like they need some like you
you find yourself in a situation where
you're helping people along quite a bit
encouraging them it's cool just right on
going you know yeah and I'm in that
position too you know and I think that
taught me a lot about how most people in
the world are just trying to appeal run
to another person most of the mistakes
I've made in my life personally came out
of my trying aggressively to appeal to
somebody right you know that only
conversation I want to try to be funny
so this person says I'm funny what's it
just like I'm not a good arguer arguer
in person because if I don't get a
response that is I really understand
what you're saying or like if I if we
disagree on something and I tell you my
point and you don't say anything
I will completely spin out of control
we're like oh no what I meant was
oh no I'll spin out of control if I say
goodnight you don't say goodnight
yes I'll stay up all night didn't say
goodnight is there a little OCD in that
well I tell you what it is
it's narcissism explain well I just
think like no one's going out of their
way to make you people don't have enough
time in their lives enough emotional
space to try to make your day worse and
the people that do do that you don't
fuck with anyway that's my boy there's
yes there are a certain number of those
people but they're such outliers you
wouldn't make it five days being friends
with them yes you know the rest of the
people the rest of the world just have
the best of intentions and also think
about this if you stayed on this show I
would say it for 4-6 hours you would say
something offensive and you talk
non-stop you'd say something I would
notice it it's the same thing with
relationship it's just law of averages
and what I found was very interesting
was that in person people are so willing
ready and able to understand each other
to go I know you met I know you meant no
one we met and online are the exact
opposite oh that's so true online
everything is red like did I hear some
conflict there did I hear did I does
that mean well you said that the sky
isn't blue at night does that mean
you're you're saying that color colors
Britt Britt Britt Britt are you saying
now that you know and then also gets
into a thing where you're like oh yeah
in person there's this idea I hear
people say it all the time out here
especially oh you're fine but and it's
instantly like okay you could be telling
not you but somebody could be telling me
something at dinner and I couldn't know
the first thing of what they're talking
about what do we do yeah yeah yeah
totally like blind thumbs up because we
know the other person sitting across
from us is good we know they're cool we
know they're all right and
[Music]
when you flip it online no matter what
if you don't know that person everything
is seen as a threat and it's so wild
it's really wild
that's why friends help each other along
and go no no I know I know I know what
you meant right I guess there's a way
and a half you could have seen that in
an upsetting way no it's you I never
thought that I wish we did that more
online it's like no most people are good
and they mean well you know I just think
people are wimps and people are lovers
and wimps in real life and they're
haters and tough guys on the area beyond
yet it couldn't be a wider yeah there's
nothing at stake right like I and I know
I'm I'm privileged in I don't get it ton
of online hate but I don't I don't quite
understand people who are personally
horrified by people writing the worst
thing they can think of because it's
like the only place they can shout
something terrible and get away I mean
but there is a part of me if I put
something up on YouTube and I see like
he's got seven hundred and seven hundred
million thumbs up and eight thumbs down
I'm like how can I get two I need this
like what were they what are they what I
say eight wise guys yeah no doubt well
you know I I talk I talk to artists
about this a lot like when someone's on
their first record and they're on the
rocket ride as I call it and they're
pulling G's on the way up the rocket
right every screenshot this it's very
difficult to gauge what the what is hate
and what is not and I will reach out all
the time and go listen when you get when
you when you when you play the game a
few more years you will see the first
three words of a comment that that's
meant to be hateful and be like boring
okay right and I there's the problem
well the good thing about hateful
comments on the Internet are they out
themselves within four words Sharyl hate
thankfully is not very clever love is
very clever
right there are
very very many ways to excite somebody
and intrigue somebody with ways to tell
them you love them I haven't heard a
very exciting hateful thing about me in
a long time which is why I got okay
I mean the thing that I used to get
tripped up on and I still do a little
bit is what happens after I put my art
into the world I'm only supposed to care
up until the moment that it leaves yeah
I have no control over well I'm supposed
to beat myself up about it
internally and then I get dumb and I'm
like you got to go out into the world
like what what how you respond to it I
just have no control over it's like I
meant what I said yeah but if you don't
apologize for art you don't put
something out and say I'm you know sorry
I wrote that you know you do it you put
it out then it is what it is
but we all have this habit of you put up
a post you gotta go back so many likes
in it I never put out a song how is it
how many spins I know it's good to put
up a shit poster every once in a while
though it's good for you it's good for
you to put up a post that gets almost
nothing no good it's not why I did it
there's also what I'm learning thank God
I love having this in my life you
probably know this too
there's a life after the life of a song
sure and that's the life that matters
right
you make born and raised you feel good
about it
you put it out in the world the world
goes huh and then you go I really
thought that was something and then you
know what eight years later people go
that's my favorite record that taught me
that there's making the record there's
the release of the record and then
there's the third part which is the most
important part which is how it ages in
the universe and all of your music I was
thinking about me and the leaves the
other day uh-huh that's your song where
there's called me a hat I thought about
that that songs 25 years old yeah and
it's still important to me I mean thank
you very much for saying it I mean it's
when you put something out in the world
I don't know you just
I wish I could get to the point where I
could put up a post I could I could
compose a thought and you do it and you
just move on and the person that made me
think that know how valuable that that
is was Dylan cuz i watch the UM I wasn't
really accused Dylan fan but then I
wanted don't look back the Scorsese ding
oh yeah no no don't look back you mean
it was around no yeah no Direction no I
think about how many lives he had he
didn't have time to look back he was
like I'm doing this thing and I'm moving
on
like I can't can you imagine anybody in
our day and age that had like half of
his success playing a show where people
at the show going
you suck we hate you and you just
continue this thing that you've decided
to do like we're slowly a canary see now
and this is maybe magical thinking I
don't know for sure I think he went and
took a piss after that show and look
yeah that's what I think I mean no one
ever thinks about it I mean it's very
easy revisionist history to say like and
he didn't care I think he cares I think
everybody there's he didn't stop so if
you went and pushed his cart down the
hill I'm going that's right but I don't
think that he was like oh you know I
think he probably was like getting ready
to get it get in the limo and stopped
off to Easter but I would like to think
so I would like to think that because
that would mean that we're all in the
same boat the other thing is I was
talking to someone about this yesterday
I think my superpower is that I am just
absolutely 100% resistant to
discouragement I don't get doctor you
know what and I will say in terms of it
being superpower or a gift from the day
that I met you I always I've always been
like whatever that guy says he's going
to do I don't know if he's gonna do it
but he's not gonna quit trying to do it
that's what I don't I don't have now it
doesn't mean that I nail everything I
certainly don't but when I don't nail it
I go you know one so every time I put a
song out I mean
very rare like when I put out I guess I
just feel like I knew that wasn't gonna
do I just I said to my label boss which
is a horrible thing to say to your label
boss I just need everybody to hear it
three times right there's one each
person here twice or three times and
I'll be good but then you know my whole
career I've been like clarity this is
gonna work or like who says this is
gonna work there were a couple saw
there's several songs and my grills like
how can this not work and the world was
like let us show you
Instagram Live - Part 1